Thursday, March 31, 2011

Kurt Vonnegut's Uncle

Kurt Vonnegut is my all-time favorite writer. He once wrote:

“My uncle Alex Vonnegut, a Harvard-educated life insurance salesman who lived at 5033 North Pennsylvania Street, taught me something very important. He said that when things were going really well, we should be sure to notice it.
“He was talking about simple occasions, not great victories: maybe drinking lemonade on a hot afternoon in the shade, or smelling the aroma of a nearby bakery, or fishing and not caring if we catch anything or not, or hearing somebody all alone playing a piano really well in the house next door.
“Uncle Alex urged me to say this out loud during such epiphanies: ‘If this isn’t nice, what is?’”

I painted this sign in homage and hung it on my wall.
Click on picture for larger view.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The PLSPLS (Purple Loosestrife Preservation League Society)

Grumpet saw this plant growing in my yard and said, "you better not let your tree-hugger friends see this. They'll freak."

And so, to annoy him, I created:

The PLSPLS (purple loosestrife preservation league society)...because they have as much right to be here reproducing wildly and crushing out the native populations as any white european descendant.*
If you're going to advocate getting rid of them, don't be a hypocrite. Get back on the boat yourself.

*Purple loosestrife is an invasive species originally from Europe.

The Water Chestnut Conservation Club
The Phragmites Protection Pact
The Zebra Mussel Anti-Defamation League
The Mile-a-Minute Weed Minutemen
The Snake Head Support Team
The Spartina Brotherhood
The Chinese Mitten Crab Jaycees
The Rusty Crayfish Fraternity
The Australian Pine Party
The Garlic Mustard Guild

Saturday, March 26, 2011


ha ha ha ha Ha Ha HA HA


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Opossums have Nothing on Ferrets

The following eight blogs all compare animals in the tradition of "Totally Looks Like" pictures. But I write about lots of other things too, if you keep going back.

"You could do Possums and Ferrets," said Grumpet.
"No way. Possums are fierce and ugly, and ferrets are sweet and soft."
"You might want to rethink that."
"No way. There is absolutely nothing similar between ferrets and possums."

But Hamsterbaby (my youngest ferret) is such a camera whore, he had to prove me wrong. So in a bold move calculated to return him to blog fame, he nipped me on the nose one day when I least expected it.

"WTF, Hammie, WTF??"
"I is just as fierce as a possum. Watch, we have a show for you."
And each one took turns trying to outdo the other with fierce possum faces.

Is there any resemblance between possums and ferrets?
You be the judge.


Be real. Is that the best you've got?

If I could look sarcastic and raise one eyebrow, I'd be doing that right now.

Sure. You're napping, he's rabid.





Stop! You're killing me!

Uncle! Uncle!


And this concludes the "Looks Like" series.

Although, I did say that once before.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Interesting Pets: Ankylosaurus vs. Newt

On the left is an "Echinotriton" salamander ("Spiny newt"), and on the right, a dinosaur called "Ankylosaurus" ("Fused, stiff, or bent Lizard").

The Echinotriton salamander grows to about six inches long, including the tail, and weighs a fraction of a pound. The Ankylosaurus grew to about 35 feet long and weighed 4 tons.

The Tylototriton salamanders (crocodile newt), closely related to Echinotriton salamanders, are pretty much the same size as Echinotriton salamanders.

The Ankylosaurus was covered with armored plates, and had spikes all around its back. They were dangerous to their enemies. The salamanders have knobs at the end of each rib.

The colored knobs at the end of the ribs indicate that the newts are poisonous and dangerous to their enemies.

Other newt species with poisonous knobs at the end of their ribs can shoot their sharp ribs through them and spray poison on their enemies.

Not these ones, though. Nevertheless, they are interesting pets to have. While the Ankylosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period, the salamanders live now.
Their fossils have been found in the western US, while this family of salamanders lives in China and Eastern Asia.

Another significant difference between them is that the newts are carnivores, eating bugs and worms, and the dinosaurs were herbivores.

I keep and raise exotic salamanders. Apparently, at one point, however, they kept and raised US.

Scary looking, or cuddly as a hedgehog?

But cute is cute, no matter how big or small, and no matter how you spell it!

Pictures shamelessly borrowed from persons known and unknown.
If I have stolen your picture, sorry if I got you mad. Say something mean to me in the comment area. Thank you and have a nice day.
Finally, thank you to Kaysie and her unknown friend for the idea!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Life at the North Pole

Strolling through downtown Amchitka a few years back, I came upon a mother Polar Bear with a runty baby she wasn't too keen on.

I took him home, thinking he'd fit in with my own den of runty bears.

He grew up to look like a mini-member of his species,

playing and lounging in the same ways

but without making that big wet mess.

RAWR, he says, when he wakes up from his nap.

YUM, he says, when he thinks about his noms.

MMMMMmm, he says, when he thinks about his soft bed.

He is one fierce little dude!

Extremely fierce!

"Don't mess with me!"

Feel free to be smitten by my handsome face, however.

And for the record, I still have connections up north...

Saturday, March 5, 2011

We have Pandas too

Pandas are not only native to China.

Here in the US we have been creating them in the lab.

So far ours are a little small

but they are just as vicious.

I'm going to rent out MY Pandas to a Chinese zoo for $5 million a year, the way they do to us.

Come and get 'em, China!

Friday, March 4, 2011

It's a crazy wild mongoose!

Here's the crazy little mongoose who lives in my house.

In addition to beauty, she has attitude.

And beauty.

And attitide.

And did I say beauty?

Her middle name is "adventure."

Her nickname is "Houdini."

Sometimes I call her "Snooki."

She's tough,


and graceful.

She's my role model!!