Recently I went kayaking with some friends. The first was my boyfriend Dave. He doesn't want me to use his name in my blog, so let's just call him "Grumpet," which is what I usually call him anyway. The other was our friend, Marco.
As I approached this log, I overheard what sounded like a heated argument. It turned out to be a schizophrenic turtle arguing with itself: Intelligent design? No, you ninny, evolution; thus they went back and forth.
We were especially quiet as we nervously paddled by this witch's hut. I've seen them before, usually deep in the woods, covered with gingerbread, candy canes, and peanut M&Ms.
Here is the patriarch of the family of swans we see each year when we come here (see my profile picture). We like to squirt them with water pistols. Why? We're just bad people.
No, really, it's because the swan said I paddle like a girl.
Sometimes we don't bring a picnic, and we make "swamp sandwiches" instead. As you can see, they are nicely packaged and a convenient size for snacking.
Here is a picture of the Invisible Lake Monster. Notice the gleaming eyes, sharp fangs, and gruesome pincers. After I snapped this pic, I thought I heard some screaming but it must have been the choppy way my paddle hit the water (some might even call it "girlie"). Later, Grumpet and I realized that there were only two of us. I think Marco must have gotten bored and gone home early. I'm not sure because he hasn't called us in a while. Probably because he owes Grumpet forty bucks.
There were lots and lots of rare wildflowers and waterlilies, most likely because this is a protected nature sanctuary. A perfect place to get specimens for my garden, and I gathered a boatload. I'm tired of digging up the tulips from the credit union at night.
I always make sure to bring a large plastic garbage bag to neatly gather up our garbage. After we put all our trash inside, we usually fill it up the rest of the way with air and set it on the water, and take bets on how long it'll float before it sinks. I always win.
Finally we were tired and I was whiny. Grumpet says I was whiny and he was just tired of hearing it.
Either way, an ice cream sundae usually shuts me up, which was the perfect ending to a day of blue skies and twittering birdsong.