Monday, September 21, 2009

Prince Dufus, or, those Wacky Egyptians

Everyone thinks of Egyptians as being beautiful people; we think of the peerless Nefertiti (1)



Queen Nefertiti

and her son-in-law, the wonderfully handsome King Tut (2).



King Tutankhamen

There is another bust in the Egyptian Museum of Berlin that I like to call "Prince Dufus." (3)



Prince Dufus

I saw it on a visit. It's not nearly as well advertised, or well known, as Nefertiti, or Tut.
Yet this mummy enthralled me. I bought a postcard of it and sent it to my sister.
"The Mummy of Prince Dufus," I called it. We got a lot of mileage out of laughing at this poor big-eared, cross-eyed ugly boy.
One day I was re-reading the back of the card and realized that it wasn't actually Prince Dufus, but Princess Dufus. Princess Dufus, the "Man-girl" (my special term for a girl that looks like a man).(4)

Well, poor homely Princess Dufus isn't an anomaly in the world of the Pharaohs. Here in this ad for Arkansas(5) is an obvious cousin. I've given up trying to sex these mummies, so let's just call the kid "Bunny," for those gigantic bunny ears. (Click on picture for larger view).



Cousin Bunny

One thing we can learn from this is that while money, in the time of ancient Egypt, might have been able to buy gold and wonderful inlaid sarcophagi, it sure couldn't buy beauty. Man, couldn't those mummy wrapper dudes have done a little to spruce poor Bunny up? Maybe make those ears a little smaller? I've heard plenty of tales of how undertakers have made someone look much better than they ever looked in real life. And I know that our undertaking science isn't more advanced than theirs; modern technicians are a pitiful shadow of the craftsmen of yore. Judging by the quality of sarcophagi today, they sure don't wrap 'em like they used to.

The existence of these strange-looking, large-eared Egyptians are confirmed by modern science.
Here is a reconstruction recently and scientifically made from a mummy:



They call this kid "Meresamun."(6)

Again, another big-eared, cross-eyed, ugly Man-girl.

Another thing we can learn from this is that it is obvious that the Prince of Wales springs from royalty and may indeed even have strong genes from the Egyptian Pharaoh line. He shares those royal ears.



Charles Phillip Arthur George Windsor, the Prince of Wales

As an aside, to drive my point home, look at the teeny tiny ears of the Deliverance Banjo Kid.



This line of mutants might as well be a separate species from the ruling class. Here he is all growed-up as well. Definitely from the "have-not" side of the tracks.

Now we come to a selection of appropriate pets for the royalty. I have to include this section because I am such an advocate of the benefits of having pets, no matter the species. Like attracts like, perhaps because we like to see ourselves reflected in those we love. These are pets worthy of kings, queens, and pharaohs. May I present,

the Bilby of Australia:




The Indian Hedgehog:




The long-eared Jerboa:



and finally, the Jackrabbit:



Perhaps this very jackrabbit is descended from Bunny's own darling. I'm sure our Li'l Bunya had a rabbit.



Continuing with the ear theme, when I was searching for pictures of jackrabbits for this blog entry, I accidentally typed in "long ear hair" (I meant to type in "long-eared hare," but I was tired, and maybe even feeling a bit contrary).



Mr. B. D. Tyagi

Meet Mr. B.D. Tyagi, of Bhopal, India, the 2001 Guiness record holder for the longest ear hair, at 10.2 cm. What is it with Indians and ear hair? Must be something in the water in Bhopal after the Union Carbide industrial poisoning disaster of 1984. Because his record was broken by another Indian, Radhakant Baijpa, of Uttar Pradesh, in 2003, with ear hair measuring at 13.2 cm.



He considers it to be good luck, and it must be: despite his hirsute auricles, he has a lovely wife.



Mr. Radhakant Baijpa and his lovely wife

He, in turn, was bested in 2007 by Anthony Victor, of Madurai, India, whose ear hair officially measures 18.1 cm.



Mr. Anthony Victor

Finally, one last Egyptian.(8)



Michael Jackson?


Wittier wits than I have been at work on this Egyptian bust that looks like Michael Jackson. "The uncanny likeness even extends as far as the almond-shaped eyes and strange crumbling nose."
"Oddly enough, Jackson's video to his 1993 hit 'Remember The Time' was set in ancient Egypt during the reign of Ramses." (9)
So is it "Pharaoh Jackaoh" or a 3000-year-old Egyptian woman? Well, it's certainly another Man-girl. But then, Michael Jackson was a Man-girl too. Imagine, being prettier than both your sisters.

Now, Michael Jackson was NOT known for his large ears. Beyond this, I really don't know what connection I can make between the Royal House of England, the Pharaohs, Michael Jackson, and that guy from Deliverance, without opening myself up to litigation. So I will stop here.

-------------------------------------------------------------
footnotes:

(1) Bust of Nefertiti in the Egyptian Museum of Berlin, Germany.

(2) King Tut, perhaps her son-in-law, perhaps her stepson. The treasures of King Tut were discovered in 1922 and frequently travel the world in exhibitions. He ruled from 1333 to 1324 BCE.

(3) Mummy of Ta-Scherit-en-Hor, dating from 300 BCE, on display at the Egyptian Museum of Berlin, Germany.

(4) My apologies to all the dear Man-girl friends I have in my life; I really love you guys, but hey, this is humor here.

(5) Ad for Arkansas tourism, in the Sept-Oct issue of Audubon magazine.

(6) A temple singer named "Meresamun" who died around 800 BCE.

(7) Billy Redden, in the movie Deliverance, and again, all growed-up.

(8) This bust lives in Chicago's Field Museum, and dates from around 1050 BCE. It has been on display there since 1988.

(9) From an online article by Tom Chivers,

http://www.thelondonpaper.com/thelondonpaper/weird/odd-news/michael-jackson-face-seen-on-3000-year-old-egyptian-sculpture

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA!!! I saw that bust and said "MICHAEL JACKSON!!"

Ok now we know where & what he was aiming for!! Good job Michael. RIP dude.

Abrahm said...

Poor Princess Dufus. I'm glad to know that I am not descended from royalty! I'm surprised I haven't heard of the Michael Jackson statue before! He had the genetic wackiness of the aristocracy of yore.

Nathan said...

That one does look like Michael Jackson!!!

That Indian hedgehog is the only hedge hog I've ever seen that really truely looks like a hog. It's great!

Thanks for making my day, Dawn.