The Artificial Sweetener Conspiracy

This is my defense for still drinking TaB, which is in part sweetened with saccharine.



First, there was diet soda sweetened with "cyclamates." They still use this in Europe; it tastes the best, in my opinion, and your soda is palatable even if it's not directly cold from the fridge. Pictured is a German "Diet Coke" bottle from 2003.
[Click on picture for blow-up.]
Then they come out with "saccharin", and suddenly cyclamates cause cancer and are banned. Saccharin takes over the market.




Next, they come out with "Nutra-Sweet" (aspartame). Suddenly studies show that saccharin causes cancer, has to be taken off the market, and Nutra-sweet takes over. As a footnote, it is stated that cyclamates don't really cause cancer. The studies were flawed.



After Nutra-Sweet takes over the market, it comes out that saccharin doesn't really cause cancer. Those studies were flawed. (from Wikipedia: "The notorious and influential studies of the kind published in 1977 have been criticized for the ridiculously high dosages of saccharin that were given to the test subject rats; dosages were commonly hundreds of times higher than "normal" ingestion expectations would be for a consumer").

So who makes these decisions about what causes cancer?
Big Business, in my opinion. It's a conspiracy funded by artificial sweetener manufacturers.



And that's my theory about artificial sweeteners. Don't say I didn't tell ya!



Whatever you drink, remember that.


For more of my silly blog stories, click on "older post" below!